I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
