You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
