bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
