There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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