That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
