I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
