my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
