lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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