Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
