I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
