dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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