If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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