You're my little dorito
he thought i was a dude.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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