So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Its about making memories worth repressing
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
