We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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