I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
