How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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