I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
