your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
