I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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