i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
