dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
