I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
