I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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