I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
