You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
