I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
