Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Sponge bath it is.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You may now shotgun with the bride
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
