You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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