Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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