K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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