Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
