No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You ruined the universe
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
