just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
