I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
