He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
