a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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