let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How does one acquire holy water?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
