do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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