dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
