thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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