Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
