just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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