idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Randomize
