i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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