On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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