i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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