We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
