I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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