oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
