im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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